Rasputin
by Jw5x5
Summary: A retelling of the murder of Rasputin in Hetalia


"The cakes are done" Latvia said, walking out of the kitchen, carrying a tray of small cakes. He placed the tray on a table surrounded by his fellow baltics, and Estonia began covering the small cakes in a white powder."Are you sure these will work?" Lithuania asked nervously."There's enough cyanide on each of these cakes to kill an elephant, I'm sure they will work" Estonia replied calmly. A knocking came from the door, and Latvia panicked,"he's here early!"."Don't worry, we have everything we need. You two hide in the other room" Lithuania said as he walked to the door."Good evening Lithuania" Russia said as the brunet answered the door."H-Hello Russia! You're early" Lithuania said shakily."Well early bird is getting the worm, da?" Russia said."Yes, please come in" Lithuania said, letting the Russian in,"You must be thirsty, follow me, I have drinks down stairs". He lead the other man to a sitting room in the basement.

"Vodka" Russia demanded, sitting down in a couch. Lithuania poured him a glass, and said,"I have pastries finished if you're hungry?". Russia drank the glass of alcohol and said,"No thank you, more vodka". Lithuania poured him another glass, and said"I'll get them anyways, for when you are". He came back with the tray, and placed it on a coffee table in front of Russia. The Russian admired the sweets, and took one, eating it sloppily."Mmm, good" he said in a drunken, slurred voice,"more vodka", then took another cake. Lithuania panicked and nervously said,"It appears you have emptied the bottle, I'll go get another one". Lithuania ran up the stairs, to find Estonia and Latvia waiting for him."Is he dead?" Latvia asked loudly."Quiet down! I don't understand this!"."Did he eat one?" Estonia asked quickly in an alarmed voice."He ate three!" Lithuania cried."Its pure cyanide, I swear!" Estonia said. He took a bottle of cyanide out of his pocket, gave it to Lithuania, and told him,"Put it in his drink, all of it! And don't come back up unless hes dead, or he'll get suspicious". Toris grabbed a bottle of vodka off of a shelf, and ran back down stairs. He poured Russia another glass of vodka, and put the whole bottle of poison into it. Russia drank the glass, and started gagging, saying,"This vodka...it tastes disgusting. I think I am done drinking for now". He started singing an old Russian folk song, kalinka, stopping only to ask Lithuania to join in. Lithuania tried his best to keep up with Russia, though this was quiet hard since he did not know the song. For an hour Russia sang as Lithuania tried to sing with him. Finally, accepting that the poison hadn't worked, Lithuania ran up stairs to Latvia and Estonia, who were waiting in the same spot as they were an hour prior."The poisons not working! We must let him leave before he realizes whats going on!" Lithuania said hysterically."He cannot leave this house!" Latvia yelled. He pulled a revolver out of his coat, and handed it to Lithuania. Toris concealed the gun behind his back as he walked down into the basement. Russia, who was marveling at a wooden cabinet, said,"This cabinet is beautiful! Can I have it?". Lithuania raised the gun, and shot Russia in the back, right where his heart is. Russia grabbed his chest and fell to the ground. Estonia and Latvia ran down stairs to find Lithuania standing over Russia's body, shaking as the gun dropped from his hand to the ground. Latvia picked it up as Estonia checked the Russian's pulse, concluding,"He is dead". The three walked up stairs and celebrated with toasts. Ivan's immunity to poison worried Lithuania, as he wondered if he was really dead. An hour after the shooting, Lithuania went back downstairs to check on the body. He checked Russia's pulse to find that he was still alive. Russia's eyes shot open, and he jumped up and began to strangle Lithuania. Toris got away and fell to the ground, gasping for breath, as Russia ran up the stairs and outside, yelling,"Toris! Toris! I am going to tell Belarus everything!", Latvia and Estonia running after him. Latvia pulled out the gun and began shooting at the Russian, hitting him once in the back and missing twice. Lithuania had stumbled up the stairs and caught up with the other baltics. He took the gun from Latvia and aimed at Russia, shooting him in the head. Russia collapsed to the ground, and continued moving forward, now crawling and muttering,"You are all going to die!". Estonia kicked him and he stopped moving. The three carried his body to Lithuania's car, and drove to a bridge over a river. They threw Russia's body off of it, finally killing him.

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This story is based on the murder of Grigori Rasputin, a Russian monk who had huge influence in Russia in the late 1800's to the early 1900's. Rasputin is replaced by Russia, and his three murderers, Felix Yusupov, who is replaced by Lithuania, Vladmir Purishkevich, who is replaced by Latvia, and Dimitri Pavlovich, who is replaced by Estonia. The day after his murder, Rasputin's body was recovered, and an autopsy showed that he had died of drowning, surviving large doses of poison, the 5 bullet wounds, a shot to the head, heavy bleeding, and the fall into the icy water. Many rumors surround his death and I tried to stay as close to the truth as possible. I hope you enjoyed!


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